we are broken
I have been over-thinking everything and having a hard time figuring out both what it is I am doing with my life and why any of it matters. I think it’s funny how the human brain has this propensity to seek and find meaning in human actions. I find most religion to be a great example of this as for the most part it is selfish, exploitative, human-centric and with it one is able to twist words to justify most actions. I believe this is is the mark of something we have created and yet we insist that it is from beyond – some outside source from which we receive this ‘wisdom.’
It unsettles me to see ‘religious’ people committing acts of terror in the world – and by this I refer to every religion for they are all overflowing with people who are so full of their own righteousness that they are blind to the idea that there might be another interpretation, moral framework, definition of ethical than what they find within themselves. ‘God’ is used for so many justifications and rationalizations that I have to think either such a being does not exist or does not care and so the application of right and wrong is a very human quality.
The sad part is that we are, the human race is, broken. Yes, we are animals. When we are angry, we strike out and when we love, we try to possess that thing and that moment that one can not possibly have. We feel fear and disgust, we laugh and appreciate beauty. The part of each one of us that makes us amazing, but we find terrifying, is how different this experience we call life is for every one of us. We are not born with instincts that lend themselves to consensus. Dogs, birds, ants, whales, lobsters, mice, horses, snakes, antelope, unicorns, sea otters – they are all better at having some consensus on how their species functions each day than we are. To assume otherwise is simply an effort to deny the unique and lonely situation in which we find ourselves.
How is it that our brain morphed into this thing that will destroy us? Why is it that even in death we cling to some not very different from our neighbor identity that we see as defining us and making each one of us unique? Instead of embracing and cherishing these differences as just a part of what it is to be human, it will be our doom, our downfall. This stubborn attachment to the smallest differences will put an end to our misery.
It’s hard, when I am surrounded by so much dissonance, to be on track with what I believe my purpose is. It is even harder to believe that it matters.
